SWEARING, NUDITY AND INTERNATIONAL BOOK DEALS… 2014’s highlights…

Hello! Before we get stuck into 2015, I thought I’d do a kind of sum up of last year, just for kicks. I realise that I can be very negative, so I’m going to BIG MYSELF UP and focus on the VERY COOL stuff that happened as well as well as acknowledging the moments where I kind of lost it…

So are you ready? Here goes:

Screen Shot 2015-01-01 at 01.22.54January – Started with me chatting up strangers on the tube, getting naked in public, doing stand-up comedy (terrifying, awful, amazing!! I’m a hero!) and jumping out of a plane (never, ever, ever again) in a Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway extravaganza.  Susan Jeffers self help classic advises doing one scary thing a day. I do. With bells on. A triumphant – if nerve shattering – start. The Daily Mail ran a big feature about my project which led to interview requests from BBC Berkshire and er, China. Hurrah! This is amazing and exciting!

2014-02-23 18.38.58February – Nothing feels amazing and exciting. I am £12,000 in debt! This is awful! How did I not realise this before? I am a terrible person. But Money A Love Story by Kate Northrup suggests that it’s because I think I’m a terrible person that I’m broke, if you don’t value yourself, the world won’t value you either. Kate suggests weekly money dates with your bank statements, complete with lipstick and high heels. Really. But good news! After the Daily Mail article I get a real life literary agent! This blog is going to be a book! I’m going to be rich and famous! Drinks on me!

2014-03-27 11.34.40

March – The Secret! Do I believe that you really can have anything you want in life? Do I not believe? Rhonda Byrne’s controversial book still has me confused but I did sit in a flash Mercedes and do a Vision Board:biggest.vision

 

 

 

 

 

2014-05-05 12.03.32April/May – Rejection Therapy – awful and brilliant in equal measure…. I found it so hard to get rejected every day (the idea is that you realise rejection doesn’t kill you and that you don’t get rejected half as much as you think) that I pretty much stayed in bed for April and made myself try again in May. I chat up the Greek in the coffee shop (it took me 4 hours to get the courage to talk to him), played tennis with strangers and got refused free coffee at Starbucks… I learn that nine times out of ten rejection is in my head and that people are LOVELY.

June – Praise be for F**K It, my favourite book so far! John C Parkin reckons that F**K it ‘Is the Western Expression of the Eastern Philosophy of accepting and letting go.’ Yup. Swearing is deep and fun. I got to Italy and say F**K It to worrying about work, about money, about my figure. I also say F**K It to a UK book deal… I know, weird. It just didn’t feel right. I trust my gut but then fall into a spiral of self- doubt about it (obvs).2014-06-21 16.15.03

July – I try to talk to angels and fail. I start drinking. I absolutely hate angel therapy. Hate it. But amazing news! I might have passed on the UK deal but I have a Brazilian book deal! Who’d have thunk it?! Rio here we come..

August – I may be on the brink of international authordom but I’m in financial meltdown. The reality of my overdrafts and credit cards can no longer be ignored. I spend August taking on all the freelance work I can. No self-help. Just self-loathing. But I do get asked to go on ITV’s This Morning television in the middle of all this – exciting!! My mother tells me my mouth seemed dry (?!) but I loved it!  I could have stayed on the sofa all day.Screen Shot 2014-08-04 at 07.44.45The day after my television debut I go back to hating myself. Ridiculous.

September –  Attempt to get back on the self-help wagon with Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. It’s about being vulnerable and intimate. I find the ideas so horrible I promptly get sick. I take to my bed for two weeks. More self-loathing about why I get sick and about how much I’m messing up this project and how behind schedule I am. I lie in bed thinking about everything I’ve done wrong in my life. Fun.

October – Continue with Brene Brown. Sort of. Write posts in which I probably share too much and I feel quite embarrassed and exposed. But the Huffington Posts asks me to blog for them – hurrah! My first post is one how self-help is driving me crazy. And it is. Nobody should think about themselves this much. It’s just not good.

Screen Shot 2014-11-12 at 09.11.11November – I try to slap myself into action with the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People! Politicians have read it and it contains venn diagrams. This is serious! There’s only one problem, I struggle to get through one paragraph. My head is fried from self-help.  Wonderful stuff is happening – The Irish Independent newspaper runs a big write up of my story and I go on Irish radio but the cracks are showing… I’m not a Highly Effective person, I’m a mess.  My thoughts won’t switch off – and they’re all bad. I get as far as Habit Two before I finally admit defeat. Cue five weeks off.

December – Stay in Ireland, eating, sleeping and watching The Big Bang Theory. I eat a lot of scones and have a lot of baths. More good news, The Irish Independent ask me to do a regular weekly column on happiness and Good Housekeeping magazine runs a piece on my Top 10 self-help books. This is all fabulous stuff but I’m too crazed to celebrate the success. I come home for Christmas and slowly, slowly become semi-normal again.

And so here we are now.

When I look back on last year, it’s clear to me how much AMAZING, AMAZING STUFF HAPPENED. Before last year I had never been on television or radio! I had never received emails from China asking if I was free to do an interview! I had never had a hot shot literary agent and international book deals!  I jumped out of a plane and did stand-up comedy for God’s sake! I got naked. In public! I did stuff that most people run a mile from!

This is all UTTERLY BRILLIANT and I feel sick about how little I let myself enjoy it. Despite all the self-help and the achievements, the voice inside my heads still told me ‘I’m crap, I’m messing up, People think you’re stupid, I’m not doing enough…’. This voice is so strong it can ruin almost anything.

THIS HAS TO STOP. If it doesn’t, I can read the wisest words in the world and make all sorts of changes to my life, but it’s not going to make a difference. Which is why, for now, I’m pressing pause on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

All weekend I kept trying to pick it back up but my head just didn’t want to take it in. Instead I found myself picking up the Power of Now instead. I had tried to read this book by Eckhart Tolle last Easter and I thought it was impenetrable waffle. This weekend it read like pure truth, it seemed to articulate everything that’s been going on in my head over the last few months… It is exactly what I need right now, so on Thursday I’ll do an introduction to it and then off we got to live and enjoy THE NOW.

LOVE TO YOU ALL.

MX

PS – I think that it’s very easy for all of us to focus on what we’re lacking rather than what we’ve achieved… I read a piece in January’s Red magazine that was brilliant. It was all about celebrating the little things – like sorting out your music, sorting out your cupboards, signing up for online dating… I thought it was lovely and true. It’s so so so draining to keep thinking of what  hasn’t been done, so much more energising to celebrate the small (and big) victories. Onwards. x

 

33 Responses

  1. Louize says:

    Fantastic news! Can’t wait to read it! Funny was just thinking I hadn’t heard from you for a while only this morning! Spooky

    • Marianne Power says:

      Thank you Louize, it’s funny how that works, isn’t it?

      • Karen Bird says:

        At last. Congratulations and more well deserved.
        So all that blood sweat and tears have paid off.
        I’m very pleased for you, it’s made my day hearing from you.
        I will be moving next week into the unknown with a new puppy
        and thanks to you I’ve taken the chance of a new chapter in my life
        Continue the good work.

        • Marianne Power says:

          Thank you, Karen. Where are you moving to? Tell me more – good luck with everything. Be brave. New chapters are scary but good. Keep in touch. xx

  2. Francesco Cervellera says:

    Congratulation 🙂

  3. Niki Longmuir says:

    I’m thrilled for you, that’s utterly wonderful…! Well done, xxxxx

  4. Susan Sims says:

    I’m so thrilled for you!! Dancing ’round the room on your behalf xxx

    • Marianne Power says:

      Thank you Susan! Dancing down under… I love it. Thank you for being such a great cheerleader throughout all of it – it meant such a lot. xx

  5. Helen says:

    Congratulations. Such great news. You’re an inspiration – you believed in something and kept doggedly on even when times weren’t so easy. Well done. I’ve loved reading your posts – they’ve been insightful and entertaining. Can’t wait to hear what the next bit of new is.

    • Marianne Power says:

      Thank you Helen – it felt very dogged!!! But worth it now, thank god. How are you? Thanks for the lovely words – I’ll be blogging more regularly from now on.

  6. Maria says:

    Well done Marianne, I have followed you from the beginning.

    So great to hear of your success. I wish you all the best, you deserve it.

    Maria

  7. Claire says:

    This is awesome news Marianne!! You’ve cheered up my day 100% xxx

  8. Rebecca Coleman says:

    I’m sure we decided about 3 years ago at one of Claire’s parties who would play you in the film but now I can’t remember who we settled on!

  9. YAAAAAYYY!!! As I said on FB, it’s brilliant news and so well deserved. I can’t wait to read it!! xxxx

  10. Sue Faldo says:

    So very pleased for you I know what a traumatic few years it’s been for you! At last a light at the end of the tunnel and not just a light a huge bright shining starlight. You deserve it and may you now go from strength to strength. Well done!
    SueX ( Sarah’s mum)

  11. Linda says:

    Fantastic news, Im so pleased for you .YYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Oh. My. God! You did it Marianne! So MASSIVELY MASSIVELY happy for you, proud for you and doing whoop whoops around the room here. I can’t wait to see who plays you in the film xxxx

    • Marianne Power says:

      Thank you Amanda – we got there in the end!!! Lovely to hear from you. I’ve been doing a lot of whooping too. I hope you are well. xxx

  13. una says:

    Fantastic, reminding of this quote I saw recently
    “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” — Thomas Edison
    You never gave up. Congrats.

    • Marianne Power says:

      Oh Una I love this quote. Thank you. I didn’t give up, it’s true. It was never even an option – even when things were hard. Lovely to hear from you. I hope you are well.

  14. Ali says:

    Congratulations! Can’t wait to read it all again 😊 and look forward to hearing your other news ….. xxx

  15. paul says:

    Marianne (or Bette Midler as you still are in my phone contacts – remember……??? !!)

    Just saw your message and so, so pleased for you………..lots to say and ask and from here I’ll contact Rebecca and see if we cant get together. Have thought of you often and this is just great news

    Much Love

    Paul

    Xx

  16. Rosie Gray says:

    Congratulations Marianne. So delighted to hear it all came right in the end. Get ready now for fame and maybe a little bit of fortune. xxx

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