Screen Shot 2015-02-12 at 11.23.36When I started this project my sister told me they’d never make it into a Hollywood movie if I didn’t end up with Mr Right at the end of it.

Then last week I was introduced to a friend of a friend and I was telling him about the blog. He was straight to the point: ‘It all sounds very tame – where’s the shagging?’

Ha ha!!

Where, indeed, is the shagging?! There hasn’t been much action, has there?!

So far, there was the lovely date with The Greek (who I’m still in touch with, I’ll write more on that another time), and the humiliation of being brushed off by tired commuters on the tube – and er, not much else. There have been a couple of other romantic encounters that I haven’t written about only because ‘encounters’ is probably too grand a word for what they actually were.

I should probably give you a bit more back story on my pitiful dating history but I’ve having a nice day and can’t really be bothered to depress myself. Anyway, I reckon you’ve got the gist of that by now – suffice to say, I’m rubbish with men.

So after a year of putting this off, here is it….


My book of choice is called [easyazon_link asin=”0593070755″ locale=”UK” new_window=”default” nofollow=”default” tag=”hemebl08-21″]Get the Guy: Use the Secrets of the Male Mind to Find, Attract and Keep Your Ideal Man[/easyazon_link]’.

Hussey is an English guy who started off doing seminars teaching men how to meet women, but then he realised he had learnt so much about men in the process that he started teaching women instead.

According to the blurb, ‘Matthew Hussey is the world’s leading authority on attraction. He’s studied over 10,00 men, and analysed over 5,000 dates, all to bring you the truth about how men really think and how you can attract the best of them. 50,000 women worldwide have attended his GetTheGuy events.’

It promises to teach you : ‘How and where to meet the best men, Eight words that instantly build attraction and chemistry with any guy, Bulletproof techniques to get the guy you like to notice you…’  Conveniently for me, one of the best places to meet men is in coffee shops.

Talk about going from the sublime to the bloody ridiculous. One minute I’m wondering ‘Is there a God?’ the next I’m being told to get chatting to the guy next to you in the coffee queue.

‘You could ask him to move away so you could grab something off the shelf,’ suggests Hussey, ‘Or you could ask if he would hold your umbrella while you fish out your purse or ask him where he stands on the flat white versus cappuccino debate…”

ARGHHHHH!!! Cringe, yuck etc..

But actually I’m being unfair. I picked this book over other dating books because it has a lot of 5 star reviews on Amazon and Eva Longoria is a fan (although what help she would need finding men is beyond me). I also didn’t want to read anything about “Why Men Love Bitches’ or ‘The Rules’ – cos they just seem to game-play-y and weird.

And actually this book is much better than I thought it would be. It’s quite wise and warm and realistic, and is as much about knowing how to interact with people in general, as it is men in particular. There’s a lot of stuff about smiling on the street, chatting to everyone you meet and giving compliments – both to men and women. The aim with all of it is to just get chatting with people you don’t know a lot more than you do now.

I’m going to put up a post tomorrow outlining my challenges for the weekend and it would be lovely if you fancied joining in. It’ll make Valentine’s more interesting…

In the meantime…


As some of you may have noticed, I have been far from consistent in my posting but I’m in the mood for getting my s**t sorted. So from now on I’ll be posting regularly on Monday and Thursday lunchtime. If there’s something exciting happening, I might do a bonus post on Friday’s too (as I will tomorrow). If I fail to post on those days, I’m going to make myself take a dip in Hampstead Ponds (in the icy cold water where this blog began) and put up a picture. Please could you all hold me to that? (In self-help land there’s a lot of talk about using negative incentives and public accountability to help you stick to goals)

And in the same spirit of getting more organised about all of this, here’s…


Very big thank you to people who were kind enough to say they were worried that the blog was finishing. It isn’t. Even though I am now a perfect, enlightened, person (ha!), I am going to continue through all 12 books.

Get the Guy will be my tenth book and will go on until the middle of March, then I’m going onto a book called Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins. He’s the archetypical US self-help guru with lantern jaw and day-glow teeth and he’s coming coming to London in March too, for a four day event, which I’ll sign up to. It involves walking on hot coals.

Then the plan is to wrap up in April with You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. It’s all about self-love, which seems like an appropriate place to end.

So that’s it – look at me, actually committing to a kind of plan!


Come the end of April, I think I’ll go to Ireland for a couple of months and write THE BOOK. Scary and exciting and real!

A reminder of where I am with that – I have a Brazilian book contract which means that my book will get published in Brazil but obviously, I will be writing it in English. Once it’s written and sent to the Brazilians, I will send the full manuscript (I think this is what it’s called in publishing circles) to see if anybody wants to publish it in the UK.

As some of you may remember, I was offered a UK deal last year but it didn’t feel right so I passed on it. So this time I’ll be hoping the right deal comes up. If it doesn’t I’ll self-publish. The whole publishing world is changing and we live in a world where just like I can write this blog and get it seen across the world – so I can write a book and have it put up on Amazon with very little drama. Amazing. So anyway, the upshot is that you will all be able to buy the book and read it without a Portuguese dictionary. And I’m so grateful that you are still interested enough in my goings on to want to read the book. Thank you.

After that, I don’t know. I want the blog to continue and I have different ideas about how to do that but I’ll keep you posted on that over the next few months. Until then ciao for now and as ever THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH FOR BEING THERE. YOU’RE THE VERY BEST-EST AND HOT TOO. ACTUALLY, IS THAT A NEW TOP YOU’RE WEARING? AND WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THE  FLAT WHITE VS CAPPUCCINO DEBATE????




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