Guinea pigs, Michelangelo and skipping airline queues – welcome to the weird and wonderful world of angels

Well, as predicted, the angel stuff is not sitting well with me.

So far I’ve read two and a half of Doreen Virtue’s books in the hope that one of them will make more sense to me but they’re largely the same book repackaged in different ways. She may spend her days in the ‘angelic realm’ but she’s no fool when it comes to business. Sell the same thing 40 different ways and you’ll find someone to buy it. Including me now, which is irritating me.

But everything about angel therapy is irritating me.

I have taken to annotating the pages of these books with a highly complex literary note system: ‘WTF?!!!’

A couple of ‘WTF’ passages include the one where Doreen suggests that you ask the angels to give you ‘an extremely nice, warm, friendly and competent customer service representative when calling on an airline to book reservations’ (you can also use the angels to skip the check-in queue, apparently) or the one that informs us that Doreen knows ‘an architect in the Midwest [who] talks with Michelangelo for inspiration.’ Or the one where she says she’s also seen ‘a few horses and even one guinea pig hanging around like guardian angels.’ Course she has.

As Andrew, a reader of the blog, posted on the comments page – it’s enough to make the Secret look rational. Exactly.

I just can’t believe in it. To me it’s like trying to believe in Tinkerbell or Narnia. With every page I think ‘That’s five minutes of my life I won’t get back again.’

Some people have messaged to say that Doreen is a not a good intro to the angel world because she’s very out there, even if you are an angel believer. But she’s the biggest author in this area so it must resonate with a lot of people. And if it works for you that’s great. We all believe in different things and I don’t mean any disrespect.

So for anyone who might be interested in angels, here is Doreen’s theory in a nutshell:

  • The word angels means messenger of God. Angels carry messages between the creator and the created like ‘heavenly postal carriers.’
  • You don’t have to be religious to believe in angels but they do feature in every religion, under different names.
  • Although God and Angels know what you need and what is right for you – they don’t intervene unless you ask, we have free will.
  • According to Doreen we each have two guardian angels. One’s an extrovert angel who pushes you to do things, the other is a quiet angel who calms you when you’re sad.
  • Above the guardian angels are Archangels – who are senior and closer to God. Doreen names 15 of them. We can call on them for different things (e.g.,  Archangel Jophiel, the ‘feng shui’ angel.)
  • Then there are the Ascended masters who are ‘beings who walked up the earth as great leaders, teachers, and healers’ – including Jesus, Moses, Buddha.
  • Then Nature angels – fairies and elementals who are God’s environmental helpers.
  • There are also Spiritual Guides who are the spirits of deceased loved ones or pets.
  • Then there are Spiritual Mentors – famous dead people who will help you in your work

HOW TO CONTACT YOUR ANGELS

1)   SAY IT – ask your guardian angel some something you need, out loud.

2)   THINK IT– or you can think it in your head

3)   WRITE IT – write your guardian angel an letter

4)   VISUALISE IT – imagine your angels around you helping you with whatever you need hep with

5)   AFFIRM IT – thanks the angels for helping you with whatever you need help with .

All of this is pretty much The Secret but instead of asking the Universe we’re asking the angels.

WHAT THE ANGELS CAN DO FOR YOU

After you’ve asked the angels for help they’ll get to work doing the following:

–       ‘Directly intervene and manifest your desires at exactly the right time.’

–       Give you a sign that they are with you –  you might see feathers, smell fragrance or see different coloured lights. You might also see the same numbers appearing in different places (Virtue has a book about this.)

–       Give you guidance as to what to do next. This guidance can take the following forms:

– You might have a gut feeling or a strong hunch about something after talking to your angels.

– You might have visions or dreams.

– You might have great business ideas or suddenly know where your lost keys are.

– You might heard ‘a strain of celestial music’, hear a high pitched ringing in one ear (Doreen says that this is the way ‘angels download helpful information and energy. If the ringing is annoying, ask the angels to turn down the volume.’)

Or your might overhear a conversation that is perfect for the issues you’re facing. Alarmingly, Doreeen reckons you might actually hear voices in your head too but these voices will always be saying positive things.

Doreen recommends you act on any strong feelings you have after asking your angels for help.

So by the time I next post I will have tried to talk to the angels and I’ll report back… can you sense my enthusiasm about all this??

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