It’s been nine days since I’ve had a sip of alcohol and this morning I woke up feeling cleaner and perkier and stronger than I have in a long time.
It helped that I had a proper 11-hour sleep without waking up once – which is very unusual for me. I usually wake a few times with quite strong ‘What am I doing with my life?’ panics. That’s the actual voice that comes into my head in the middle of the night ‘What are you doing? What are you doing?’ Either that or I find myself sitting bold upright at around 2am with my heart beating, thinking ‘Where are you?’, even though it’s the same bed I’m always in.
Even last week, when I wasn’t drinking, I was still having that. I was also waking up this morning feeling pretty rubbish and headachy, even though I hadn’t been drinking.
BUT today I feel solid and clear headed. I woke up, meditated and went for a semi walk/run thing around Hampstead Heath (involves me walking for five minutes, breaking into a jog that lasts about 30 seconds before I want to puke, then walk again, half jog again etc)
Since coming back I’ve fired off more emails than I have done in the last four months and not in a crazy manic way, I am just thinking clearly. The self-help naval gazing fog may well be lifting. Touch wood.
Anyway, I don’t want to get over-excited because this is only just beginning but so far so good. I’ve been surprised at how easy it has been to not drink this last week.
I haven’t been to any pub/party situations but I have been at friends’ houses for dinner and it hasn’t bothered when they’re drinking and I’m not. There’s a moment when they first open the bottle and pour a glass when I think ‘Oooh, I’d love a glass of that’ but then we start chatting and the feeling passes. Last night I walked past a pub that looked all sparkly and wintery and I would have happily gone in for a glass of red but again I walked past and the feeling went.
In other news – yesterday I walked for forty mins, checked my bank balances (still bad but I’m getting used to the numbers now so they don’t come as a surprise) and wrote a really good plan yesterday of what to do today (WHICH I’VE ACTUALLY HALF STUCK TO, MIRACLES MIRACLES!)
I didn’t meditate though. The day vanished and I thought I’d do it before going to sleep (after Downton, which I think I only watch just to annoy myself – why do we do that?!). I sat on my bed for about two mins with my eyes closed before slipping under the duvet and falling fast asleep.
SO COME ON THEN – HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING?
THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO HAVE SENT PROGRESS REPORTS – NO WORRIES IF WE FALL SHORT, WE JUST NEED TO KEEP GOING AND KEEP GETTING BACK ON THE WAGON. NO BEATING OURSELVES UP, LET’S JUST BE HONEST ABOUT IT ALL AND REALLY CELEBRATE THE TRIUMPHS.
TOTAL STAR OF yesterday was SARAH FROST who was given a cocktail at a party and actually handed it straight over to her husband – amazing!
Would love to hear how anyone doing the 30 day whole food challenge are doing. I looked it up last night and it looks quite hardcore in terms of no dairy, carbs, sugar etc…
XX[easyazon_link asin=”0684858398″ locale=”UK” new_window=”default” nofollow=”default” tag=”hemebl08-21″]The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People[/easyazon_link]
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